If someone had told me four years ago that by 2008, I would have dropped out of grad school, moved back to NE, be testing drugs, single, and buying a house, I would have laughed. Me, back in Nebraska??? I might have believed the single part, but NE? A grad school drop out? Drugs?
Lately I have be reflecting on my life, and trying to figure out how I ended up where I did. And where my future is heading. When I graduated from MHC, I had all kinds of grandiose plans for my life. PhD, working on research that would benefit the world. Living in a bigger city and traveling wherever I desired. And yet I find myself back in the heartland, working a 8-5 job and looking for stability in my life. And struggling with the fact that while I am quite happy, I keep asking myself "what if?" or "what happened?"
When did I go from having a great passion for science and research and doing whatever it takes to wanting a day job that allows me to go home at 5 and not have to think about work in the evenings or on the weekends? When did I go from taking life as it comes to wanting stability? When did my priorities shift? I have gone a complete 180. And I'm still trying to decide if that is a good thing or not.
Am I making any sense at all? It's late, and I am typing random thoughts as they pass through my head. I'm pretty sure I can peg some of these priority changes in my life on a couple of experiences, but I guess I've been questioning whether those experiences should have affected my life to the extent that they did.
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